He wins.

Beard Progress

YES! We are still growing our beards! And I think its safe to say that we are way past the itchy stage at this point. Below are our beard progressions and thanks to an insightful Brian "Ugly" Gulianianianianiani, I have included each of our previous weeks. This way it is easier for you, the wonderuful, loyal readers, to see how much we have progressed.

And here...we...go...

Captain Red Beer'd

Danny

Hairy Sanchez

Bearded Walrus

I feel like the Bearded Walrus she-man is way out of all of our league. "It" is really bearding well right now and personally think "it" might be in the lead for best beard. The Beard-off, however, continues and it's not over til it's over.

Our 4th member is still working on his beard, we unfortunatley did not get his picture this week. But check back for his postings on bearded serial killers.

BEARD!

~Hairy Sanchez

I spotted this vehicle earlier today in a parking lot in Reading, PA. I thought, without a doubt, this belongs to a dude with a kick-ass beard. Sure enough - saw the owner walking into a Chinese restaurant just meters away. I was too chicken to ask for his picture. So I got his conversion van instead.

Bob Dylan with a Beard

I like this picture of Bob Dylan with a beard.

Famous Beards in Serial Killing

Famous Beards in Serial Killing

Does the unabomber count? Cause he's got a great beard.

He's not a serial killer by trade, but I think he could figure it out pretty quickly. And I hate to be so complimentary of his beard, but this is a forum free of discrimination. If you got a good beard, you're alright with me. I'm not down with Kaczynski's behavior, but I give credit where it's due. Nice beard, Teddy. That's enough serial killer empathy for one night.

famous beards in seriel killing

Shoulda Had A Beard Series

Shoulda Had A Beard

Entry 1

Ted Danson has had a successful career: innumerable television series, a plethora of feature films, and most recently appearances all over HBO. He is a handsome dude, no doubt about that. But I can't help but think, "What if..." What if Ted Danson had a beard?

Would Cheers be entering it's 27th season? Would we have seen another addition to the 3 Men And A Baby franchise*-- 3 Men, A Young Woman, and Some Very Concerned Neighbors? Would we have seen another Macaulay Culkin collaboration? Because for me Getting Even With Dad wasn't enough.

This is all speculation. There's no way to tell if Mr Danson's career has been in any way affected by a lack of facial hair. But I can assure you Tom Selleck's mustache wasn't a mistake.

*The 3 Men And A Baby franchise also includes 3 Men and a Little Lady. And recently rumors have circulated that another sequel is in talks for 3 Men and A Bride.

Famous Beard of the Day

October 23, 2009

Today's Famous Beard of the Day is American record producer Rick Rubin. His beard is so incredible he's often confused with the creator of the heavens and earth.

A few facts about Ricky:

He was born Frederick Jay Rubin.

He's currently co-head of Columbia Records.

He's co-founder of Def Jam Records.

His credits include (take a deep breath)

Beastie Boys

Run D.M.C.

Johnny Cash

ZZ Top

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Jay-Z

Metallica

Slayer

Weezer

The Avett Brothers

And more!

It's not known how long he has grown his beard for (or at least it's not on Wikipedia). But if I had to guess, he's been growing it since he was born on March 10, 1963. We call that "dedication." It takes a certain kind of man to do that. Rick Rubin is that man. If I ever saw him I'd probably want to curl up in his beard and watch Saved By the Bell re-runs on my family room floor.

Think I'll throw on Paul's Boutique and boogie down to some Rubin-produced gems.

How Not To Grow a Beard

So, there's no need to go into the awesomeness of playoff hockey beards or to defend the manliness of the average hockey player. But there is a need to address this. Pictured above is Penguins forward Sidney Crosby. Sidney has been forced upon the public by the NHL to be the "face" of the NHL and was immediately dubbed to be the "Next One" by them and every sponsor of the sport. I believe all interested parties are starting to have second thoughts about that, however, once they say what that "face" looks like once playoff season begins. When your beard more closely resembles a gorilla mask, you may want to consider other options. You are hardly striking fear into your opponents hearts when you look like Bam Margera used you as a practice run for the final skit of Jackass II.

Hey if you can't grow a beard, you're in luck.

Erin lives in Portland, OR and makes beards. They're available for purchase on her Etsy account here. She does some drawings and paintings as well. And I'm sure she has other interests too. I'm hoping to see some folks at the beard party with these on. They're way cool.

Hey I saw this on Paste Magazine's blog

It's a cover of 'Just Like Heaven' by a dude who plays mandolin and has a beard.

Check out the original post here:

http://www.pastemagazine.com/high_gravity/2009/10/mandolin-cover-of-just-like-heaven-awesome-of-the.html

Confessions of a Beardo

The Four Beardos blog was created not only as a way to keep the public informed on our progress during our growth period, but also as a safe zone to communicate our impressions and issues along the way. It acts almost as a method of providing a little sanity in these months of bearding. I applaud my comrade, Doug Murphy, who is solo-bearding all on his lonesome in D.C. At least here, I have Tim and P.J. for some support. Doug suffers alone, like a true mountain man. I'd be happy to see that Doug wins the beard-off, but in the spirit of competition: that asshole is going down. So with all that in mind, I need to be as honest as possible; an honest Abe if you will (he had a beard) and share some thoughts.

We have recently added our week 2 updates to the blog and I am certainly disappointed in my performance. I still just look like an unemployed jerk. In fact yesterday, two separate people on two separate occasions said I look homeless. Believe me I was thrilled! But that's not the kind of beard I'm going for. But that's the other part of the problem. What beard do I want?! How do I know what's right for me?

I'm currently digging on the Robert Redford beard circa 1970 from the film Jeremiah Johnson.

Sharp, right? Yea, but who knows what I'll want tomorrow. The commitment is too much. I see a ZZ Top-looking dude on a motorcycle and I want to look like that! Obviously, 3 months wouldn't be enough time (to reach that length or go gray) and how do I know I'll be able to part ways once I reach the 3 months? I might have this beard forever. It's apart of me now. I groom it. Proudly.

I'm not there yet though. This is just premature anxiety. I still walk down the street passing bearded men looking for the head nod of solidarity only to be disheartened. The time will arrive. I just have so many questions for them in the meantime. I'm ready to relate on a level I've never been able to with another human. For example, having an honest-to-god real milk mustache. That's serious fellowship of man kinda stuff.

Week 2 Beard Progress

Well, it seems that my colleagues and I have been in hiding for the past week. I know what you were thinking...Did they quit the Beard-Off!? Were the Four Beardos not strong enough to continue?!

Don't worry because I am happy to announce that we are still bearding at this very minute. We continue to suffer through the itchiness that is the beginning stages of beard-offing. But we do it all for the glory of a Beer'd Party! Below are our Week 2 Progressions. More posts will definately be going up this week. We will not leave you hanging another week.

We hope you enjoy our Bearded mugs.

~Hairy Sanchez

Week 1 Beard Progress

Dont have the time to write much except that we look sexy!

~ Hairy Sanchez

Famous Beard of the Day

Today's 'Famous Beard of the Day' is brought to you by Just For Men Facial Hair Dye

http://www.justformen.com/products/facialcolor/facialcolor5.shtml

Poseidon:

This dude is god of the sea. He's for serious. A more appropriate name for Poseidon might be 'God of the Beard.' Don't tell me this guy isn't slaying the women. (Actually, if you're god of anything, you're automatically a ladykiller.)

Some of his credits include: Hurricane Katrina, the Tsunami of 2004 that rocked the Indian Ocean, and melting the polar ice caps (often times confused with Global Warming, but actually that's just a myth. It's really this Greek god who's responsible)

If that's not enough for you, he's also Greek. And everyone knows the Greeks know how to party, gel a perfect faux hawk, and protect their vision from harmful nighttime UV Rays.

ΔΙΚ 4 Eva

In this photo: Tim (Left), Doug (Center), & PJ (Right)

Poseidon's brothers were Hades and Zeus. These guys also have sick beards. Hades is the god of the underworld and Zeus was the king of the gods/god of thunder and sky. These 3 kinda sound like jerks. I'm getting an 'O'Doyle Rules' vibe from these guys. They probably dominated handball games in gym class.

Poseidon also is the name of two major motion pictures. The first in 1972, The Poseidon Adventure and unfortunately again in 2006 by the name Poseidon. Rotten Tomatoes gave this masterpiece a 33% Sorry, dude I thought you were better in The Little Mermaid (based on a true story)

Poseidon plays King Triton in Walt Disney's The Little Mermaid

Beard Growing Hazards; The Itch

Itchy itchy. Scratchy scratchy. Beard itch leaves me feeling like a crackhead in search of his next hit. I bet if I smoke some crack it will make the itch go away. Anyone got $5?

Famous Beard of the Day

Joaquin Phoenix: Earlier this year, we had the rare treat of seeing a completely drugged out Joaquin Phoenix wander out onto the set of David Letterman. Its not clear if Joaquin was unaware that he was going to be on the show, or if he was even aware of where he was at the time, but Dave being the crafty interview veteran he is dives right into what's on everybody's mind and compliments his beard.

There really is some outstanding craftsmanship on this beard. Notice the three shades of color with some brown and red hair mixing together with some gray highlights coming out towards the end. Magnifico! Check out the link below for the full interview, which may be one of the more drugged out interviews of our generation.

The BEGINNING!

Well, we are ready to show you all what we have been discussing in these ridiculous posts. The following picture was taken on the fateful night when our dreams would start turning into reality. This is what we are considering the BEGINNING of our Beard Off.

Should be an interesting competition. Stay tuned as we will be posting our Week 1 Beard updates sometime soon (meaning this weekend!). Watch as our faces turn into magical hair forests with fairytale creatures living inside of them!

Yours Truly,

Hairy Sanchez

DC Beards Update

Since being in the competition, I've given some thought to what kind of beard I'd like to grow.

In my research, I've discovered some great looking beards. Here's a few highlights:

1. The Orthodox Jewish Man Beard

-This beard is so awesome, it should have it's own kippah.

2. The Terrorist Beard

-This may be a HUGE generalization, but ALL terrorists have great beards.

3. The Bearded Woman

-This one is like a unicorn; so mystical that one can only hope it's real.

4. The Fisherman's Beard

-A classic that smells like fish.

5. The Jesus Beard

-The only thing better would be black baby Jesus beard. Lord have mercy.

Manly Men Who Have Beards part 1

Chinese riddle: Do lumberjacks have beards because they are manly, or are the beards what make them manly?

Answer: Lumberjacks are manly because they spend over 40 hours a week destroying shit. You ask them to cut down a tree, they don't ask why, or what the possible ecological consequences deforestation might have on the environment. They ask how big is the fucking tree? I once saw a lumberjack cutting down a huge tree while punching a grizzly bear in the face and having sex with a diner waitress all at the same time.

The lumberjack is commonly known to have the scruffy style beard that comes with close to zero trimming, shaping, or shaving. In fact, most lumberjacks go years without actually looking at themselves in a mirror. Thats because lumberjacks get up at the crack of down, gnaw on some bark (to clean their teeth), throw on a flannel jacket, and then fire up a huge fucking chain saw to cut mother nature in half. Any beard trimming down by a lumberjack can only done with a saw, axe or chain saw, so they trims are few and far between.