Famous Beard of the Day

Al Borland, lovable sidekick of Tim "The Toolman" Taylor. Most often seen cleaning up the shitstorms left behind by The Toolman. Al always secretly hated Tim and was constantly plotting ways to kill him. Unfortunately, every attempt ever made, often taking place during taping for "Tool Time," would only end in Tim with black soot on his face and frizzed out hair. Al had deep resentment for Tim, and looked at him as a lower form. Instead of actually engaging in critiques and corrections on Tim's bafoonery, he would normally look at Tim with disgust and resentment and simply state, "I don't think so Tim."




Some people say that Al had some shortcomings, such as his "momma's boy" demeanor as well as his apparent inability to get laid. THESE WERE ALL LIES PURPORTED BY TIM. Do you really think a man with this manly a beard AND who was featured on a hit home improvement show couldn't get laid??? The truth is, Al had actually been tapping Lisa for years without Tim knowing it. This would often occur ON THE SET after Tim and the rest of the crew would leave (rumors have circulated Al would wear nothing but a top hat and tool belt while Lisa pretended to be a woman who couldn't fix the garbage disposal, because Al was a fucking MACK like that). Tim later found out about the relationship, and in a fit of egotism and jealousy fired Lisa, leading to the arrival of Heidi. Al never forgave Tim for this and swore vengeance on him.

Finally, that day came. After years of taking the mental and physical abuse, the bearded Al Borland was finally able to expose Tim the Toolman for what he truly was...a full blown pedophile. Al alerted the authorities and provided the visual evidence needed (pictured left). Tim was promptly convicted when the jury was convinced that anyone with a pedo-stache like this (seen below) HAD to be a guilty.

Al, to this day, is sitting pretty collecting checks for Tool Time syndication. Tim "The Toolman" was convited to 30 years in Lewisburg State Penitentery and is now the favorite tool of Big Bubba Johnson. The beard is a bit smaller, and a bit grayer for Al these days but still just as great. Beard for the win!